Are there times when you feel like your relationship isn’t evolving? Maybe even going stale, or getting too monotonous?
Once the honeymoon phase is over, life’s responsibilities kick in, and you find yourself going through your daily routine like a hamster runs on its wheel.
Your marriage may start to feel like more like a business partnership, where each person has certain tasks and you pass each other by trying to get it all done.
By the end of the day, you are exhausted, and so much for any personal time, or spouse time.
Can I Truly Fall In Love With My Partner All Over Again?
Seriously – is it possible to actually fall in love with your partner all over again, and be just as excited about your relationship, once you are spinning this daily wheel?
I have to ask myself this all the time. I have to check in about my relationship to make sure I am having a fulfilling, heart to heart connection with my life partner.
The reality is that my children are watching us closely, and learning exactly how to be in their future relationships and life. How do I want to model this for them? What kind of life and marriage would I like for them to have? A tag team partnership; a roomate? Or an intimate, connected, loving companion?
Why does this even matter?
Without intimacy, connection and empathy, it is difficult for us to create humanity in our world. And if we want our kids to experience the warmth of humanity in their life, then we have to first show up for them in this exact way.
Reinventing Your Relationship ♥
From my own ups and downs, I have found that the key to reinventing my relationship is to first show up in the way that I want my husband to show up. What I mean is that, if I am wanting more affection, communication, thoughtfullness and respect from him…I can be that for him – and from there, he will see me in a new perspective.
There was a time when I felt deprived of certain things from my husband, and kept asking him for them. What I often heard in return was…”you don’t do that for me”, although I thought I did. I realized that I had to understand exactly what his needs were, and how I can make them available to him with an open heart.
And so I did. It felt a bit scary and vulnerable at first, because I had thoughts that he may not return the favor, and I may be left dissapointed. I knew I was setting myself up with unproductive thoughts like these, so I reminded myself to give my love generously without an expectation – to simply remain committed to Love.
Coming from this space, allowed me to be committed to the outcome of Love, without being attached to the outcome. Without any attachments, I wouldn’t leave hurt or dissapointed.
My husband quickly responded with his love.
We did have to exchange more specific requests that catered to our own personal needs, but it was so much easier to do this once the love exchange had begun.
Both of us were vulnerable, and both were open to receive, as well as give.
The biggest game changer was that I was the initiater, without any attachments – just committment to Love…as opposed to constantly asking my husband for those things that didn’t exist between us anymore.
From that space, we had reinvented our relationship and there where new and exciting feelings in the air. A new way of being that dissolved the routine, and stale monotony of our every day life.
It was very refreshing to be able to build something new with the same person I’ve been with for 20 years.
Instead of disintegrating, we were renewing on a personal level, and as a partnership.
We learned that the demands of everyday life don’t have to take away from your relationship. You can take the reigns, and live the life that you love with the person that you love.
Children Grow From Their Parents Love
There is nothing more important than modeling love, generosity, vulnerability and honesty for our children.
Creating strong and loving relationships in their lives, will be the key to a successful and fulfilling life for them.
And showing our children what that looks like, begins with our own partnership.
Love is the essence of parenting and family – and it trickles out from the connection the parents have.
Children live in the space between their parents. Their life begins there.
To give and receive love is part of everyone’s life purpose here – it is what we are all meant to do and experience.
After many years with your spouse, it would be unrealistic to expect the same hot and thrilling relationship you had when you first dated. What’s great about that is that you can have a new person to date, that you are already married to – someone that has evolved, and has grown with you.
Someone that you can always enjoy life with, and meet you where you are…ready to enjoy what’s next.
Wishing you a blessed Valentine’s Day,
P.S. – In honor of the Day of Love, I am once again, offering a signed copy of my book, Love Centered Parenting at 40% off, while supplies last!